A Series of Fortunate Food: Bad Beginning, Good Pasta

Our kids are big fans of the Lemony Snicket stories, A Series of Unfortunate Events.  Joe read all of the books to them when they were small, and now we're making our way through the audiobooks.  We thought it would be fun to take a break from Nicholas Sparks and cook something from a story the whole family enjoys.  (And truthfully, with only three Nicholas Sparks books left on my shelf, I'll take any excuse to postpone the end of this blogging project...)

A Series of Unfortunate Events is made up of thirteen books, all tales of the three Baudelaire orphans and their never-ending quest to escape the clutches of the evil Count Olaf, who is their legal guardian but whose ultimate goal is to kill them and steal the enormous fortune the children's parents left when they died.  The first book in the saga, The Bad Beginning, tells of the fire in the Baudelaire mansion that killed Mr. and Mrs. B while their children, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny, were relaxing on a beach.  They are immediately taken to Count Olaf, their closest relative, and there the orphans' troubles get much worse.  Olaf is a lazy, self-centered, greedy villain who puts the children to work doing endless chores.  One day he orders them to cook a meal for him and ten or so of his cronies.  Olaf's neighbor, Justice Strauss, is a kind and gentle soul who helps them choose something to prepare and shop for the ingredients.  (If only Justice Strauss were their guardian, things would be oh so much better for the children...)  After browsing through Ms. Strauss's cookbooks, they choose Pasta Puttanesca.

From a street vendor, they purchased olives after tasting several varieties and choosing their favorites.  At a pasta store they selected interestingly shaped noodles...Then, at the supermarket, they purchased garlic, which is a sharp-tasting bulbous plant; anchovies, which are small salty fish; capers, which are flower buds from a small shrub and taste marvelous; and tomatoes, which are actually fruits and not vegetables as most people believe.  They thought it would be proper to serve dessert, and bought several envelopes of pudding mix.  Perhaps, the orphans thought, if they made a delicious meal, Count Olaf might be a bit kinder to them.  (The Bad Beginning, p.41-42)

(Side note:  I had planned to try to make pudding--from scratch, of course; but, well...it just didn't happen.  Another day, another blog post.)

I found this recipe from Rachael Ray:

PASTA PUTTANESCA

Ingredients:

·         2 tablespoons (2 turns around the pan) extra-virgin olive oil

·         4 to 6 cloves garlic, chopped

·         1 tin flat anchovy filets, drained

·         1 /2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes

·         20 oil-cured black olives, cracked away from pit and coarsely chopped

·         3 tablespoons capers

·         1 (32-ounce) can chunky style crushed tomatoes

·         1 (14.5-ounce) can diced tomatoes, drained

·         A few grinds black pepper

·         1/4 cup (a couple of handfuls) flat leaf parsley,, chopped

·         1 pound spaghetti, cooked to al dente (with a bite)

·         Crusty bread, for mopping

·         Grated Parmigiano Reggiano or Romano, for passing, optional

Directions:

Heat a large skillet over medium heat and add oil, garlic, anchovies, and crushed pepper. Saute mixture until anchovies melt into oil and completely dissolve and garlic is tender, about 3 minutes: your kitchen never smelled so good! Add olives, capers, tomatoes, black pepper, and parsley. Bring sauce to a bubble, reduce heat, and simmer 8 to 10 minutes.  Toss sauce with cooked pasta.

(Source:  Food Network)

I was a little bit hesitant to make this, for two reasons:  1.  I'm afraid of anchovies.  Whenever we get an anchovy pizza (for Curly and Joe, definitely not for me) I can't stand to sit near whoever is eating it because of the smell.  But I made Caesar's Salad recently I couldn't taste them so I was willing to try.  2.  I don't like capers.  At all.  But I wanted to stay true to the recipe, so I used them anyway.

I varied Rachael's recipe slightly;  I used a can of diced tomatoes as well as some fresh ones instead of a big can of crushed.  I had curly parsley on hand, which tastes almost the same as flat-leaf.  And I decided to use Kalmata olives instead of plain old black ones.  And fresh pepper.  It just didn't seem right not to use it.

For the pasta, since the Baudelaire's selected "interestingly shaped noodles," I found some bowtie and spiral-shaped pasta to use instead of spaghetti.

That sure looks like an awful lot of anchovies...

I was afraid the anchovies and garlic would stink up the kitchen, but to my surprise it had a nice savory, nutty, garlicky aroma.

After putting the tomatoes, olives, capers, and crushed red pepper in the food processor, I transferred it all to the skillet with the anchovies and garlic.  It smelled delicious.

Curly wanted an Aqueous Martini with his Pasta Puttanesca.  That's just plain water and an olive served in a martini glass.  That beverage is featured in a later Lemony Snicket book, The Ersatz Elevator.

The verdict?  I didn't care for it much.  It must have been the capers.  Joe and the boys liked it, though; so I would say it was a success!

I got my camera back this week!  Soon (I hope) I'll be making some special sandwiches on homemade bread, and custard-style ice cream for dessert.  Stay tuned for my next post, the wonderful short ribs my family made for me on Mother's Day.  Without my camera, I couldn't help taking some photos with my phone.  (I haven't really looked at them, to tell you the truth, so I have no idea if they'll be any good.)

Have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend, and Happy Pentecost Sunday!

7 Quick Takes, Volume 9

--1--

I don't know about you, but I can't wait to see this movie! The Lucky One hits theaters next Friday, the 20th of April. When I relayed this fact to Joe he asked, "We're not going to see it are we?" "Well...I want to..." I replied. "It will eventually be on DVD," he said.

Well. Methinks there just might have to be a girls' night out for this one.

Nick is hitting the talk show circuit this week to promote the film; here's his recent interview on CBS This Morning. (And did you hear the kid in the trailer ask Zac Efron if he likes jambalaya? Well, there are all kinds of things to cook from the book, but jambalaya isn't one of them. I just might have to make some for this blog anyway.)

--2--

My dog gets into everything. Seriously. There have been times when my kids could truthfully tell their teachers, "My dog ate my homework." I have been trying to figure out a good place for a fruit bowl for years, where the dog can't get it and where it will be visible. I also have an iron skillet and a wok that I don't have a good place to store. For a while I had them on top of my stove, but I just had to move them around whenever I wanted to cook. Finally I found a corner where I could store both, and my wok could be my fruit bowl. Not ideal, but it works.

--3--

Last summer my crazy dog figured out how to open the cabinet under the kitchen sink and get into the garbage can. I found a plastic child safety lock left over from when the kids were little--the kind that's u-shaped, and you slide it through the handles and pull a little plastic thingy across to lock it into place. Well, it took her about ten seconds to chew through that. We're now keeping our garbage can in our laundry room closet (and we have to keep the laundry room door shut tight because she knows how to open THAT closet door, too).

My dilemma has been what to do with our kitchen trash so we don't have to make trips back and forth to the laundry room a bazillion times a day. For a while I was using a Rachael Ray-inspired garbage bowl system that I would empty from time to time, but that was filling up so quickly it was a pain. Finally I took my big pot (which, like my skillet and my wok, needed a storage place), stuck a plastic bag in it, and voila'! Instant trash can, and I can keep it above my stove. And when I need the pot for cooking I just take out the bag and wash out the pot real quick.

--4--

This is what my center island looks like on a good day.

If I could just keep my desk in the corner clutter-free, there would be someplace to put all that stuff. *sigh*

--5--

Curly's science teacher (the amazing Sister Frances Carol) told her students that right around the spring equinox, and only on a leap year, you could stand a broom on its bristles and it would stay. This broom stayed in our dining room like this for the better part of a month, I kid you not.

Of course, this was my favorite broom, and Curly insisted that no one touch it. I had to use inferior brooms for a while, but I didn't mind. One day Moe needed to sweep and inadvertently grabbed this one, thus breaking the spell.

--6--

Every year at school, they have Character Dress-up Day. This year Moe wanted to go as Count Olaf from the Lemony Snicket books. He found a jacket from Larry's old Mad Hatter costume, and a vest Curly had worn last spring when he played Lefou in Beauty and the Beast. I painted a single eyebrow on his face with eyeliner, and drew the eye tattoo on his ankle with permanent marker.

(See my mischievous dog looking for something to get into?)

Soon I'll be inserting food from A Series of Unfortunate Events into this blog. We've already made something from the first book, The Bad Beginning, and the kids got a big kick out of it. Stay tuned!

--7--

On April Fool's Day, this showed up in my kitchen cabinet.

Moe designed it on the computer, took a can of beans and replaced the label with this one. Nice, huh? (eyeroll)

I hope your appetite hasn't been spoiled too badly; coming up I'll share that Lemony Snicket fare we put together, as well as some yummy dishes from The Lucky One. See you soon!